What Was Lost
by MDesign
Summary: Post-Gaea War Sorry for the feels guys, but I was inspired by some Viria/Minuiko work and I couldn't help myself… (Credit to Viria for the cover photo)


Have you ever been in such complete darkness that you feel like your eyes are shut despite the ache telling you they are as wide as they can go? That is what one experiences when wandering through the Underworld's darkest corner. Even sound is swallowed before it can even start, scent does not exist, your skin is so pressed with nothing that no touch can be felt, all working together to effectively leave anyone there in a state of complete sensory absence.

To most, it would be a nightmare. The sense of being dead without actually dying. Actually, to most there, they are dead. The underworld is not open for most people, but a son of Hades is welcome any time, giving me an escape from anything in the world, giving me my tiny corner of nothing.

I wander aimlessly, my only sense of moving at all coming from the ingrained sense of direction from my father. I can hardly breathe because of the crushing feeling in my heart, the thing leading me on, for even here I cannot escape the pain that comes from inside. Percy Jackson… why did he have to be so selfless? The war is ended, but he is gone.

Suddenly, light appears ahead of me and I abruptly realize where I am. Coming up before me is a glowing island, surrounded by a glistening lake. An elegant bridge arches from the mainland, a rather dreary place but more pleasant than the rest of the Underworld, to the shining gate, upon which several shimmering demigods watch my approach curiously. I only barely scan their faces. I know now that my sister is not here, anywhere, and I have long since stopped looking.

Then I stop. At the base of the bridge stands a familiar, lanky figure, his black hair ruffled. He is facing away from me but I know it is him. The ache is my chest grows stronger and my breathing speeds up as I stand, frozen, unable to take another step towards him. I flash back to the last moments of the war, when his death final sunk in and everyone lost heart. I remember Jason's horrified look, Frank's pain, Hazel's misery. But most of all, I remember Annabeth's total destruction, the only emotion present that mirrored mine.

He turns, unexpectedly, and I cannot move into the shadows fast enough. His sea-green eyes catch mine and I see surprise flicker across his face, then sorrow. Percy turns away from the bridge and takes a step towards me, then another. Soon, too soon, he stands right before me, his form flickering in the darker area, casting a glow around us. I swallow, hard.

"Nico? What are you doing here?" His voice is tight but I can tell he has some sense of happiness that I am here.

"I came to tell you that you are a git." I snap, crossing my arms across my chest and frowning. I want to hug him, cry, for it all is starting to crash around me that he really is dead, that I will see him only here now. Percy's lip curls into a half smile, but his eyes are sad.

"I had to do it. It was the only way." He tells me, pushing his hands into his pockets. I scowl.

"No, it wasn't. You know damn well I was going to sacrifice myself but you just HAD to jump in. What you did was selfish. I have a long less people who would have had to grieve like so many are for you." I growl. Percy frowns, looking down at his feet.

"Nico, you know I couldn't just stand back and watch you die. You are my friend and I couldn't just let you throw your life away like that."

"Like what? Like what you did instead?" Angry tears fill my eyes and I turn my face away, unable to look at him anymore. I hear him bite his lip.

A long silence stretches between us. Finally, I look back up and Percy puts a hand on his neck.

"How are they? How is Annabeth?" He questions, looking pained. I sigh, shaking my head.

"They are all heartbroken. Annabeth especially. Your death hit them hard, as was to be expected." I reply coldly, trying not to start crying again. I remember Annabeth holding his lifeless body, sobbing like I wanted to, and my having to pry his body away from her so the others could get her home. My own grieving took place alone as I shadow-traveled him home.

"Will you… will you tell them I am sorry? And please… will you tell her I love her?" He questions after a long pause. My chest clenches but I nod, forcing a scowl back on my face. "And Nico… I'm so sorry about… about not being able to keep Bianca safe. I'm sorry for breaking my promise and making you hate me."

Tears well up in my eyes and I look down at my feet, trying to get myself back together. When I speak, my voice is rough.

"I don't hate you, Percy Jackson. I should, but I don't."

Finally looking back up, I see surprise and confusion in his eyes.

"You… you don't?" He stutters, his eyebrows pulling together. I frown at him,

"…No. Its… it's the opposite."

"The… opposite? I don't understand." He says, looking even more bewildered. I feel a blush coming into my cheeks and suddenly his eyes widen and his mouth drops open.

"Ni-Nico? You- you LOVE me?" He stutters, looking shocked. I scowl, wanting to growl, 'of course not!' but I say nothing, and the boy finally looks down at his shoes.

"I had no idea. I though for so long that you hated me for what happened to your sister." He says quietly. I make a small noise in the back of my throat as tears spring into my eyes again.

"I did… at first. But it didn't last long. I hated myself for loving you after that, but eventually I came to realize that I couldn't blame you anymore than I could blame myself. Bianca choose to go on that journey, and though she died on it, it was still her decision." I say, choking up. I have never told anyone that, and now, telling him, I find it almost too hard to keep the words coming. "You always thought I loved Annabeth and I was content to leave it at that…"

Percy stands silently for a long moment. When he finally speaks, his voice is low.

"So you made that promise to meet us at the gates of Tartarus for me?" He laughs shakily. "You were right about me thinking you liked Annabeth… maybe I'm just thickheaded."

"You git. Of course you did. I did everything I could to hide it." I snap. The son of Poseidon gives me a half smile, shaking his head slightly.

"You don't have to be so rude." He laughs slightly, then flickers. His eyes widen as he glances back at Elysium. "What was that?"

"You can only be away from the bridge for so long before it will draw you back." I say tonelessly. Percy frowns, glancing at the bridge again.

"So there is not much time." He states, not really questioning it. I nod, clenching my jaw.

"Yeah. Any last words that don't suck?" I ask, and he laughs, legitimately this time. Then he shakes his head.

"Tell them I don't regret my decision. And tell Annabeth that I love her and I need her to get over me and move on quickly. Please, don't let her give up because of my death." He says. I nod slowly, taking a deep breath.

"I'll let them know." I say, starting to turn. "I guess this is goodbye, Percy."

I see his hand reach out and go through my shoulder, followed by a sound of surprise. I turn, glaring, but I find his eyes solemn.

"Nico… thank you. And… you are my friend and I have always admired you. You have to keep on living too, okay? Don't give up, and I'm sure you will find another love. Plus, I know you can do a lot of good. Promise me you will keep living… and I mean really living, not just surviving. Please?"

My heart jumps into my throat and my eyes fill with tears. Percy flickers again, his glow getting dimmer. His eyes are serious and full of compassion and caring. I know I don't have much time, but for a long moment I can say nothing. Finally, I choke out a response.

"I promise."

Percy form flickers, then dissipates, reappearing next to the bridge. I stand rooted to the spot, just barely in the shadows as Percy looks right at me and waves a final goodbye. Then, slowly, he turns and walks up and over it, heading away towards Elysium. The shinning city swallows him in its glow, and as soon as he is out of sight, I spin around and shadow-travel out, back to the outskirts of Camp-Half Blood. Standing among the trees, next to the river, I finally let the tears roll down my face, finally letting the son of Poseidon go.


End file.
